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Living Not Living

by bensingermusic

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1.
The Moon goes around The Earth goes around The Sun goes around I go around You.
2.
Trace 03:36
Up, up above. The place we’re all looking and thinking of. Down, down below. We don’t want to look, we don’t want to go. You, on the road. Nobody hitches a ride any more. Me, in my place. Living a life without leaving a trace. You had all that time. It would be years before the next hour chimed. Me, facing down. Reading a message as the sky turns brown. Me, on the road. Nobody picks up a ride any more. You, in your place. Leaving a life without living a trace. Didn’t want to know that it could be that way. And the one time mama you could only say, "I watched from the sky, I fought from the wall," and I looked at your eyes and I knew it all. Hey, hey You, on the road, nobody hitches a ride any more. Me, in my place. Living a life without leaving a trace. Me, on the road, nobody picks up a ride any more. You, in your place. Leaving a life without living a trace. Up, up above the place we’re all looking and thinking of. Down, down below. We don’t want to look, we don’t want to go. Hey, hey
3.
You were looking down all day. Looking up is hard to do. You were walking fast so fast Can’t slow down, no not you. All my life was devoted to you All my life was meant for you All my life was spent in the shadows All my life There’s somewhere you need to be Somewhere that’s not with me And I thank my lucky stars For giving me this clarity. To see exactly Who you’ll be. All my life I thought of you All my life I dreamed for you All my life was really a fantasy All my life All my life... All my life was devoted to you All my life was meant for you All my life was spent in the shadows All my life
4.
Coming down to living coming down. Going up to sleeping Going down. Wondering what is up and who’s around. Coming and going Sleeping not sleeping Going and coming Living not living. Open up to seeing open up. Closing down to hearing Closing down. Wondering who is lost and who is found . Coming and going Sleeping not sleeping Going and coming Living not living. Reaching up to hold you reaching up. Slipping through my fingers slipping though. Wishing there was more that I could do. Coming and going Sleeping not sleeping Going and coming Living not living. Coming down to living coming down. Coming down to living coming down. Coming and going Sleeping not sleeping Going and coming Living not living.
5.
Once in the air, it stays in the air. Once in the ground, it stays buried deep it won’t be found. Mary said to me my time would be used up when the clock struck three. Twilight in June Framed by the moon Faces around. Around this bonfire. Our whole damn town. Mary said to me my time would be used up when the clock struck three. Out on the sea Is the future to me. It’s where we began And fated to Return once again Mary said to me my time would be used up when the clock struck three.
6.
Hold your hand out to me. Where I’m going, I might need a friend. I feel a change in the breeze, but where it’s blowing I cannot see. I’m tired I’m tired. I’m ready for the back yard. Got no fear. Cut wide open and I’m drawing clear. Rest your hand on the hilt, blade flashing so they’ll stay away. I see a shift in the hills. If they’re following I cannot say. It doesn’t matter where you go They’ll be there and they’ll find you so I’m tired I’m tired. I’m ready for the back yard. Got no fear. Cut wide open and I’m drawing clear. It doesn’t matter where you go They’ll find you and they’ll be there so
7.
Heard those words before. Seen that look many times. Felt that feeling rise. Saw that door swinging closed. Don’t you want something real? Been down that road before. Watched it take that turn. A sudden urge fades away. Nothing new any more. Don’t you want something real?
8.
Yesterday was a different day than the usual day. Ah.. Da da-da da da-da
9.
Have you seen the morning light? It creeps towards the window In the middle of the night. Can’t stop the dawn. You thought you might. Start right now. Make things right. There’s a world out there you can go and see But it’s not meant for you, not meant for me. Shows itself in its own way. [Show yourself to me.] Better stay in bed until better days. Come on now Southern Woman Join me in the present day You know where I will take you There won’t be time to pray. Do you hear the gathering clouds up against the mountain dropping moisture they found. Coming later now. Winds change course from the warmth of the ground. How to renew something so old? Leave it to chance. Let our hearts grow cold. Warmth won’t console us when our lips turn dry. Gather your tears next time that you cry.
10.
It'll be alright. It'll be alright. It'll be alright, tonight. It'll be alright. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
11.
Wandering is not wandering Going is not going I beg to differ Knowing is not knowing Giving is not giving I beg to differ Hands together Eyes on the road Seeing is not seeing Believing is not believing I beg to differ Wanting is not wanting Taking is not taking I beg to differ
12.
A piece of wood a pane of glass, lines of code a broken road. Winding up that hill towards you. Unused tile a country mile ignored so much it’s paved with brush and cuts a jagged line towards you. Take something that’s left to you. Pick it up and turn it around. Make it into something beautiful Make it into something new. Take a look around, take a look around.
13.
Wounds of the soul, wounds of the soul: let time heal them, let time heal them. Wounds of the heart, wounds of the heart: let time heal them, let time heal them.

about

In the summer of 2017, after the last Bandcamp release Trials Of Figueroa, I wrote and recorded songs like Drawing Clear, I Beg To Differ, Something Real, Twilight In June, Living Not Living, and It'll Be Alright. These have a distinct bass riff that repeats throughout the song.Trace is a recent Fall 2017 song which departs from this pattern so it may be played out.

This album also contains several tracks from my ongoing collaboration with Dali Hi. Around You, Better Days, and Yesterday Was A Different Day were written and recorded in the fall of 2016 (one of them on the day after the US Presidential Election of 2016.) All My Life is the most recent song I've done with her, recorded in October 2017.

The third category of songs are binaurally mixed: Take A Look Around and Wounds Of The Soul. These are best heard with headphones, since only the left ear should hear the left channel. If left channel sound makes its way to the right ear (or if the right channel's sound makes it to the left ear), which happens when listening on speakers, then the 3D effect is lost. But it still sounds reasonable on speakers, if a little strange.

note: The Bandcamp version of this album does not contain 5 tracks that are on the version in stores this week (Nov 13th 2017.) That's because those tracks were on the last album I put up on Bandcamp, Trials Of Figueroa (released April 2017.) Instead, track 11-13 are songs specific to this Bandcamp release.

credits

released November 16, 2017

Thanks to Dali Hi for contributing vocals and more to several tracks she is featured on. She was generous enough to provide her help with no expectation of any credit or any royalties. Nevertheless it is impossible for me not to share with her any success we might have, however meager.

Also, thanks to the Chaotica Free, a fractal-based image creation app rom the Mac App Store. I used it to make the cover.

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bensingermusic New Jersey

Independent diy musician

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